Straight?
by Beansprout-Ninja
Summary: Marik tries, once again, to prove his straight sexuality to Bakura. It, once again, isn't working. Crack YBxMI


**Disclaimer**: I don't have to own Yu-Gi-Oh. Thiefshipping is already canon. XD

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><p>The sun, shining and bright, warmed the bare skin revealed by the Egyptian's thin lilac top. Leaning against the back of the bench, he tilted his head towards the sky, intent on soaking up the sunlight as much as possible. Perhaps he could work on his tan? Sunlight had been rare in the past few weeks, with rain and storms dominating every possible chance of the sun's beaming rays.<p>

Breathing slowly, inhaling the fresh scent of the green grass, Marik allowed his eyes to wander to that of his white-haired companion currently seated next to him and glaring at nothing in particular.

"What do you think, Fluffy? Isn't the park nice?"

Bakura hated the park. No, correct that. He didn't hate it. Simply, if the park was human, he would mutilate it with every particle of his being.

Why was he even here then, if he despised this outdoor public square so strongly?

A breathy sigh drifted from the young male sitting next to him. Bakura joined him, allowing himself a sigh of hopelessness.

Ah, that's right. _He_ was the only reason Bakura had even bothered with the outdoors.

Truthfully, it wasn't the park itself he hated. It was the outdoor atmosphere. The scalding sunlight, the mocking invisible faces of the trees, the sickly green grass, the ghastly cheerful faces of the people milling about around him; Bakura would have rather stabbed out his own eyes.

If he ever chose to travel outside, it wasn't in this type of weather. When Bakura spent time outside, it was during a thunderstorm, relishing in the refreshing ice-cold shock of the pouring rain.

Marik was the opposite. He adored this happy atmosphere; Bakura could see it in the joyous smile on his face and the bright gleam in the violet depths of his eyes.

'_I suppose living in a tomb can do that to you.'_ Really, if Marik hadn't lived in a tomb for such a long amount of time, he'd probably be some-what normal. Certainly no normal person could truly enjoy _this_.

Bakura didn't voice his thoughts though; he never did. He simply nodded and pretended to be staring at something other than the male at his side.

"Bakura?" The former thief king grunted to signify he was listening. Marik seemed to hesitate for a few moments, clearly considering if he should really speak what was on his mind. "Do you… think I'm gay?"

Bakura, a man of expressionless facial expressions or pleasuring at the pain of another, began to laugh. It wasn't a harsh laugh; simply a laugh of amusement because he was, honestly, very amused.

"Do I think you're gay?" Another laugh. "Of course not. Why would I ever have such reason to believe such a ridiculous rumor?"

Marik may be naïve, but he wasn't stupid. The sarcasm lining the undertone of Bakura's voice was thick enough to slice with the hidden blade of the Millenium Rod. Crossing his hands over his chest, he frowned, displeased. "You're lying, aren't you?"

Bakura displayed an expression of mocking astonishment. "Me? Lying?" Miserably attempting to hide a wide grin with the back of his hand, Bakura draped an arm lazily around his waist.

"I would never lie to you, beautiful." Chuckling, he chewed playfully on Marik's earlobe.

Marik scoffed and, placing his palms on Bakura's chest, forcibly pushed the albino away.

"You may not believe me, but I'm telling the truth! Am I gay, simply because I wear tight-fitting, revealing clothing, relish in the wonders of jewelry, befriend hot, sexy men, and wear make-up to accent the beauty of my face?"

Bakura didn't even bother to consider the statement; he simply nodded. Marik, face reddened with embarrassment, pointed to the path circling the bench. "I'm just as gay as the next two people who come down this path!"

"If you're suggesting you're straight," Bakura scoffed, "Then _I_ must be straight. And we know that's _impossible_."

Both men, at the sound of two voices intertwining in conversation, glanced up. Two heads, both styled in the same absurd star-shape, bobbed along as the two boys walked, hand in hand, fingers intertwined, deep in enchanting conversation.

As the two strolled by, neither noticed the presence of the two criminals on the bench. The Pharaoh was much too busy gazing lovingly into the eyes of his midget, and the Pharaoh's midget was much too busy laughing and smiling at the Pharaoh's hushed commentary.

They were enjoying each other's company, if the kid's giggling and the Pharaoh's affectionate nuzzling was anything to go by. Before disappearing from their line of sight, Bakura noticed the Pharaoh's hand wander to a place dubbed far from innocent; the boy simply kissed the neck of his partner.

Bakura, entertained at this new occurrence, returned his attention to Marik. "What was that you said?" Smirking, Bakura imitated the nasally tone of Marik's voice. "I'm just as gay as the next two people who come down this path!"

The Egyptian, head bent and his blonde bangs dangling in his face, was blushing furiously. This was _beyond_ humiliating. He was straight, wasn't he?

Bakura, some-how sensing the boy's thoughts, laughed raucously and approached Marik from behind, wrapping thin arms around his bare waist.

"If you dressed like a woman, no one would notice the difference."

"Well, I suppose no one- Wait!"

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><p>God, I have too much fun. XD Seriously; I was laughing so hard. *rubs cheeks* My face hurts now.<p>

This was inspired by Allie-Cat 83's review to _Totally Effing Straight_. I love you, Allie-chan. :3

I _adore_ this pairing. I'm so ecstatic because I think I might've just figured out how to write it. ^o^

Review, if you will. Please; do it for the sake of Marik's non-existent straight sexual orientation.

See ya on the flip side!

-_Beansprout-Ninja_ :D


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